For Ailish - remembering MK.

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Ailish, I'm crafting this with you in mind, taking you on a trip through my memories, stitching pieces of my story into the life of you, your mum and your dad.

This story begins with your mum, Carla, this tale cannot be told without her. The story cannot be spun without her at the centre, a girl with one of the biggest and best smiles I've seen. She has one of those smiles that as they say, 'lights up a room' and a heart to match. I met her on my very first day at university when I moved into a share house with her. A motley mix of personalities and backgrounds thrust together by circumstance, we all became friends. While time and distance mean that some of us have become lost to each other, Carla and I remain friends to this day.

I can't remember the moment I met your dad, Michael. As I write this today I wish I could. I can remember seeing him play live in the statue pavilion at the Ballarat Botanic Gardens; I can remember him playing in a room with ruby red walls somewhere else in town. Some of these memories are like flashes, fragmented snippets where all I can really recall is his beautiful voice. My favourite of all of his song lyrics has always been 'life needs only a whisper, and the soul can sing and dance, given half a chance' and the singing in my soul seemed to happen whenever I spent time with Carla and Michael or MK as we often called him. 

In time Carla became blended with Michael. I wouldn’t say one's name without the other and, again, I can't remember the moment at which this occurred, there was just the realisation that something had shifted and these two were going to journey through life together. I think about how good it was that the universe had brought together two of the best people I had met. For when I think of both your mum and your dad - that is what I think of - good people. People who cared about those around them, who are thoughtful and kind and generous. People who never muttered bad words unnecessarily. Whenever I spent time with Carla and MK I walked away feeling better about the world and to be able to generate that feeling in someone is a rare and special gift.

I remember emailing MK as a beginning teacher in the late 90s and getting a fax in response where he described himself as a Luddite, not ready to move into the digital age. It was full of witty humour and I stuck it in my teacher's chronicle as it made me laugh. Today I'm wondering if I still have that chronicle, is it tucked away somewhere safe? I smile as I recall a memory of this self-confessed Luddite years later becoming excited when Rohan introduced him to the delights of 'Deal Extreme', where he could pick up guitar strings online for a bargain. Unlike many others, MK wouldn't become an Internet pirate and download movies or TV shows, worried that if he did men in black suits would come knocking at the door.

My favourite memories of MK are of the long lunches that we shared with him & Carla, particularly in Castlemaine. Days spent talking about life, politics, books, music, sci-fi TV, and travel. Days spent eating and then going for languid walks around shops. I’ll always remember the invite for the barn raising at the Castlemaine house where Carla and MK appeared as Amish homeowners. I'll always remember the day he first introduced us to the delights of the 'Restorer's Barn'. I'll always laugh when I see an old Soda Stream ad and hear the slogan 'get busy with the fizzy' and the way your dad loved this. I’ll remember the day we drove to the fruit trees at the bottom of the hill near your house and MK assessed the fruit, working out when it might be ready for pilfering in order to make jam. I’m sure jam made of stolen fruit would taste so much sweeter. In the cupboard I’ve got a recipe for bread written in MK’s handwriting and when I make that bread, I’ll think of him. I'll smile thinking of the time we all brainstormed a new genre of writing called 'corn' and most of all I’ll smile when I remember the way he gave compliments freely and often. I remember his wicked sense of humour, his passion for ideas, for music and his love for Carla.  

And then,

there is you.

You are the next chapter in this story.

When I think of you Ailish, I'm remembering MKs lyric 'hope found a home in the face of a child'. I remember the day I heard Carla & MK were going to be parents and it seemed no time and you were here. You won't remember the coffee shops in Castlemaine where you slept soundly while we all talked, but there you were, a new character in the portrait of all our lives. And in your parents there was painted a fierce, proud love for you.

Today I listened to 'Digging for Soul' and realised what a gift I'd been given in having the chance to know the gentle soul who crafted these beautiful lyrics. I’m happy that my friend Carla got to share so many special moments in her life with him, and grateful that Rohan and I got to share part of their story.