Joy will come

This arrived as an email subject heading today in my inbox and I figure it’s as good a statement on the nature of life as any other. Later on I spoke on the phone with the sender of the email and we talked about life, death, love, loss and laughter. We did some philosophizing on life and while not particularly highbrow or complex, we came up with the fact that sometimes life is shit, but it’s about making sure we’re walking through the shit together. I think this is really the crux of the idea for me today, that it’s important we walk side by side and that we hold close the idea that at some point, joy will come.

I’ve just finished Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly and while I normally shy away from people who have a background in social work (too much navel gazing for me normally), I’ve become a total fan girl of Brown. If you haven’t heard of her you can check her out in this TED talk http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

On my desk at work I have a post-it from Schulte that reads ‘one has to stand in one’s vulnerability in order for it to become a strength’. This has been a concept that I’ve drawn on in my career as an educator and something I talk to pre-service teachers about too, particularly when we have crunchy moments in our practice or in our relationships with students, teachers and colleagues.

One of the key things I like about Brown’s work though is the idea that while vulnerability can be challenging, uncomfortable and difficult it is also the birthplace of joy, life and learning. Vulnerability means being open to the shit times, not running away from them, or running away from our friends and families who are having them, but being there, by their side as they go through the shit. My friend ended our conversation by saying ‘thanks for walking through the shit with me’. 

And this is what matters.

So while we wait for her shit times to pass, we’re looking at finding joy in the everyday simplicity of life. The way the sun streams down through the clouds, the refraction of light and the muting of colours as day turns to dusk. The moment as Ethan Hawke says in Reality Bites, when a ‘laugh becomes a cackle’. The sound of birds outside as night turns to day. The laughter of a small child. The sound of an old friend’s voice on the phone. The smell of freshly baked bread and the crunch of the crust as you bite into it. The warm embrace of a loved one. The sound of a song you haven’t heard for ages on the stereo. Getting dragged through the grass near the creek as the dog wags her tail in excitement. All these and more are the simple moments of joy. 

So my friend, as always, is right, shit as her time may be right now, joy will come.